Nana Wills passes on.

Nana Wills' funeral was today.

I'm a little drunk so excuse any rambling, beeteedubs.

It was actually a really nice day. I got to spend some really good time with some family members I haven't had much to do with for a long time. My family has done that things families seem to do nowadays and just split. Noone ever sees oneanother. I saw my Aunty Nell today for the first time in 4 years. Her son Zac for the first time in 2 years.

My dad for the first time in 4. But that's a whole 'nother issue.

I wish it wasn't that way. I remember when I was a kid and Christmas/Easter/etc would always be held at my grandparents place in Coopernook. At that time, it was a one-room insulted shed, the bedroom/kitchen/loungeroom separated by cupboards that me at my current height can see over but child-sized me thought were enormous. A walled of bathroom completed the entire place. The years was huge, with a covered picnic table and a barbecue as well as a set of swings and a slippery-dip for the grandkids. The place always felt so intensely family-orientated, especially for the grandkids. The place was an adventure land with paddocks and cows and snakes and kangaroos and cockatoos and fruit trees (the neighbours, but as long as they didn't see you take the fruit, grandma and grandad didn't mind) on the outdoors. Inside the cupboard-walls were filled with framed photos and ugly things we grandkids had made and given to the grandparents thinking they were the best gift we could possibly give. The place just felt as it it belonged to the entire family. It was more a home to me that any other place I'd ever lived.

These celebrations had so much food and grandmas awesome cakes (especially the butterfly cupcakes) and granddads brilliant educational stories that kept me rapped for hours on end (the man was a much-needed walking encyclopaedia to a knowledge-starved child). There were water pistols and a ride around the yard on the quad bike (one time I panicked and drove up the slippery-dip... it kept that awkward shape until the day it was finally thrown away) and even a tire swing you could twist a cousin in and let them spin until they almost threw up. There was roller-blading on the concrete (one time right over Meg's head... as I recall, the she wasn't overly impressed) and adventures in that little area the cows were rounded up in before they boarded/exited a truck.

A few years ago, my grandparents finally got the money to add to it. It's now extended with a couple more bedrooms, a loungeroom, a new kitchen - all in the place the old barbecue used to live. It still feels like the best place I've ever visited.

Rambling. Back to the point.

It was my favourite place in the world. Then due to a number of stupid fights plus everybody just growing up and getting busy, people slowly drifted away from it. I honestly couldn't even recall the last time we had a huge family gathering there if I tried. It breaks my heart.

So today was brilliant, seeing all of those people in the one spot again. We're all much older and much taller (shorter in the case of some of the aunties ;)) and all of us have gained at least a couple more age-lines. But that immense and immediate love remained and it was so fucking heart-warming to feel it.

I made the long drive home with all of these thought in my mind and new I had to record them here for future viewing. I wish I could just connect my brain to the computer and dump all my thought because these are only a fraction of the things I want to say about today and I've said them so ineloquently (is that even a word? Let's move on).

I'm not even going to proof-read this entry because I want it to stay exactly as I've typed it.