Happy birthday, Simon Terry!

...and hello blog. It's been a while.

I've just returned from being out on the town with Simon Terry and his friends. I smell like cigarette. We were at a nice little bar on the main street. The owners were smart; they bought a shitty-looking building and made that the vibe. That way they didn't have to paint the walls or fix the holes in the roof! Add two bars and you've got a hipster hangout! But also, it actually had a really nice vibe. It had an awesome-sized balcony - with a g-nome. Mikey would have hated it.

Meanwhile, speaking of Parkhillians - I miss Sarah Lynch. She moved to Lightning Ridge a few weeks ago. I've applied to do prac out there so I can visit her for a few weeks. Also it's good experience, looks good on my resume, etc. etc. But mostly, Lynchy and her new cat.

While we're on the subject of school experience, I volunteered in a classroom for the term just gone. I told them I'd continue into this term. I was supposed to be there today but I felt I wasn't being utilised at all. I was there as part of the Priority Schools Program, helping kids with low literacy and numeracy skills... but I mostly just watched the teacher teach. It was like first-year observations. Every week. For two hours. So I've given up. I do need more time for uni, so it's not a huge loss, I suppose...

That's enough for now.

Australia Day

...and I've woken up in a foul mood.

I'm blogging now because I know I'll be too busy (read: lazy) to do it later.

Our annual sandcastle-building competition wasn't on this year! The mantlepiece is devastated at the idea of not getting another trophy. The plan is to go build sandcastles anyway with Parkhill and then eat foodz. I made a vegan cake (!) with avocado and cocoa icing. The cake is good. Sticky. The icing not so much - it's a bit shit. I plan on making everybody feel awkward about it though so they eat it anyway. I also made a chocolate and marshmallow thing that looks okay. I made marshmallow!

Fuck, I have a headache. And people and animals keep talking to me and I have to pretend my brain isn't threatening to explode on their faces.

Happy Hottest 100 Day!

Nana Wills passes on.

Nana Wills' funeral was today.

I'm a little drunk so excuse any rambling, beeteedubs.

It was actually a really nice day. I got to spend some really good time with some family members I haven't had much to do with for a long time. My family has done that things families seem to do nowadays and just split. Noone ever sees oneanother. I saw my Aunty Nell today for the first time in 4 years. Her son Zac for the first time in 2 years.

My dad for the first time in 4. But that's a whole 'nother issue.

I wish it wasn't that way. I remember when I was a kid and Christmas/Easter/etc would always be held at my grandparents place in Coopernook. At that time, it was a one-room insulted shed, the bedroom/kitchen/loungeroom separated by cupboards that me at my current height can see over but child-sized me thought were enormous. A walled of bathroom completed the entire place. The years was huge, with a covered picnic table and a barbecue as well as a set of swings and a slippery-dip for the grandkids. The place always felt so intensely family-orientated, especially for the grandkids. The place was an adventure land with paddocks and cows and snakes and kangaroos and cockatoos and fruit trees (the neighbours, but as long as they didn't see you take the fruit, grandma and grandad didn't mind) on the outdoors. Inside the cupboard-walls were filled with framed photos and ugly things we grandkids had made and given to the grandparents thinking they were the best gift we could possibly give. The place just felt as it it belonged to the entire family. It was more a home to me that any other place I'd ever lived.

These celebrations had so much food and grandmas awesome cakes (especially the butterfly cupcakes) and granddads brilliant educational stories that kept me rapped for hours on end (the man was a much-needed walking encyclopaedia to a knowledge-starved child). There were water pistols and a ride around the yard on the quad bike (one time I panicked and drove up the slippery-dip... it kept that awkward shape until the day it was finally thrown away) and even a tire swing you could twist a cousin in and let them spin until they almost threw up. There was roller-blading on the concrete (one time right over Meg's head... as I recall, the she wasn't overly impressed) and adventures in that little area the cows were rounded up in before they boarded/exited a truck.

A few years ago, my grandparents finally got the money to add to it. It's now extended with a couple more bedrooms, a loungeroom, a new kitchen - all in the place the old barbecue used to live. It still feels like the best place I've ever visited.

Rambling. Back to the point.

It was my favourite place in the world. Then due to a number of stupid fights plus everybody just growing up and getting busy, people slowly drifted away from it. I honestly couldn't even recall the last time we had a huge family gathering there if I tried. It breaks my heart.

So today was brilliant, seeing all of those people in the one spot again. We're all much older and much taller (shorter in the case of some of the aunties ;)) and all of us have gained at least a couple more age-lines. But that immense and immediate love remained and it was so fucking heart-warming to feel it.

I made the long drive home with all of these thought in my mind and new I had to record them here for future viewing. I wish I could just connect my brain to the computer and dump all my thought because these are only a fraction of the things I want to say about today and I've said them so ineloquently (is that even a word? Let's move on).

I'm not even going to proof-read this entry because I want it to stay exactly as I've typed it.

Such a good night.

Nothing too exciting: eating Grill'd in a carpark facing the beach - with our hands because we weren't given utensils. Also the voucher we used was for two adult meals and two children meals.

We ate all of it.

I went to the gym again today! Yesterday I did cardio and some weights, today I did some yoga and tomorrow I'm going back for... something. Haven't decided yet. I'm just super proud of myself for going back to early in the new year and with some sort of frequency!

Mark came and spend some quality dad-time with Charlie too. He liked it.

Now I'm sleepy. Can you tell? But I'm determined to blog more often. I enjoy reading old blog posts, even if they're a little boring. It keeps me in the habit, too. Maybe I should quit doing it right before I drift off...

Sleepy new years stuff.

2012. Wholey fuck.

Another year gone. And man was it a quick one. I got back to Australia from Japan just before 2010 switched over to 2011. That feels like it was approximately seven seconds ago. So I’ve been an Australian resident again for over 12 months.

It’s been a pretty awesome year, personally. I’ve downed another year of uni (only 2.5 left to go, pending failures), I bought a car (which has lasted a surprisingly long time without breaking) I got back together with Mark (and stayed back together, so far), I finally settled into a comfy place at work (after 3 years) and I got my first pet in years (who hasn’t died within the first fortnight). Those are a selection of highlights, of course. In that time Ive gained friends, lost friends, grown up, regressed again, cried, laughed and watched a fuckload of television. I celebrated an awesome birthday with my brilliant friends, I roadtriped to Melbourne, I cached and I babysat. I learned to bake a little. I did a boot camp! Well. I went to at least half of the sessions.

What do I regret? My social group dwindling to tiny numbers has sucked a little. I’ve fallen back on some back habits I should lost again. I’ve lost some of my pushiness and have let myself be pushed around more than I’d like to have been. I haven’t saved any money at all. I spend too much time on the computer. I didn’t dedicate enough time to university.

The things I’m most happy with? I’m fitter than ever. For a while I was playing three games of sport a week AND going to the gym. What the heck, right? I got myself back in the right mindset to complete my degree. That was quite a challenge. I saw my nieces and nephew more times this year than any other. I paid off my debts.

So for 2012, what do I hope to achieve?

I want to be a little more focused. I really, truly, honestly want to give uni a proper chance this year and do well.

I want to get Mark to understand and accept me more for who I am. But at the same time, I wanna work a little toward being the person he seems to think I can be.

I want to save some money, hopefully take a trip somewhere memorable. I’ve done SUCH LITTLE TRAVEL this year, it’s a shitty thought.

I want to find more friends, widen my social circle a little, find some more friends I have stuff in common with.

I want to stay healthy and enjoy feeling good about myself.

I want to have fun.

I want to be happy. And I want people to want me to be happy.

And that is enough self-indulgence for this new years day.